Tighty Whiteys
by Irishsodabread
Summary: Draco was angry. How could everyone accuse him of wearing thongs when clearly he wore tighty whiteys...... He was infuriated.... My first Random Fic....... WOOOOOOOOOOT!
1. Default Chapter

Tighty Whities

By me

A/N; Wow,  This is a really random one that came out of a random conversation with my friend about my band teacher. So here.

Draco was angry.

Draco was angry because everyone accused him of wearing thongs.

How dare them!

When it was SO obvious that Draco wore Tighty Whiteys 

Their false accusations infuriated Draco.

So he went upstairs to his room and put on his favorite song.

It was a wonderful Muggle song from Mya, called " My love is like……. Woa"

Draco always felt pretty during this song.

He pranced around his room in his tighty whiteys using a hairbrush as a microphone

He liked to pretend he was a diva.

He liked to sing extra high notes like Mariah Carey.

He didn't even notice when Goyle walked in with a bucket on his head.

Draco really got into it when is favorite part came.

My sex is like WHOA   
My ass is like WHOA   
My body's like WHOA   
And ur kissin it   
So what you think of it

He sang his heart out at that part because it most especially pertained to him

He was just too beautiful to describe. But that part of the song came close to capturing his beauty.

But soon, young Draco got bored.

He started wondering what Thongs felt like.

Of course he loved his tighty whiteys, and would never betray them totally, but It felt like time for a change.

And change he did!

Draco made his way down to the local thong shop.

It angered him that he couldn't find the kind of thong he liked

'Hmmm thongs are fun' Draco thought' They have a lot of variety that you just don't get with tighty whiteys'

He searched and searched and searched until he came across the most beautiful thong in the world

It was neon green.

And it had pink stars!

Daco jumped for joy because it was just right for him.

He also got another one. A black one, for formal occasions of course. 

When he got home, he quickly changed into his thong.

It felt wonderful to Draco. He couldn't feel a thing infact.

But he felt sad at the same time. 

Because there on the floor, was a pair of tighty whiteys, staring sadly up at him.

So Draco quickly decided he would only wear the two thongs on Tuesdays and Thursdays and his beloved tightey whiteys the rest of the week.

He would alternate!

On the Monday back to school. He strutted his stuff.

Because he knew he had no panty lines.

Hermione in particular loved the new Draco.

She always hated a man with panty lines. They were truly grotesque.

And so she told Draco. And soon, Draco became her bitch.

And all were happy.

~*~*~

My first random Story.. I like these, they are quick and fun…I think I'll write more of these.

Well tell me how you think?

Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


	2. Whale Penis

Harrys ghetto booty

A/N; Woooot I'm continuing it.. I have too much fun writing this

Harry was angry

He had just caught Hermione pinching Draco Malfoys booty.

That was supposed to be HIS booty.

How dare she touch Dracos booty, instead of his..

He was after all, THE BOY WHO HAD A GHETTO BOOTY!!!

That was what he was known for. 

So Harry decided to confront Hermione about it. 

He found her outside, with her midget Randall. 

" Hermione, why were you pinching Malfoys wrinkly ass. Don't you know that mine is MUCH smoother? Don't you know that I work with the great Richard Simmons on my slamming ass? His booty has…..cellulite!"

Hermione looked perplexed " Yes Harry and I've decided to have you two fight it out in a mud wrestling match. Who ever looses has the least ghetto booty for me, and will no longer be pinched. 

The day of the match everyone was excited. Harry ans Draco were dressed in their favorite thongs. Draco opted for his favorite neon green thong and pink stars. Harry had his lucky black and silver one. Both looked smashing. 

And the match began

All were watching closely. 

How Harry and Dracos asses wiggled.

But the match was stopped when Richard Simmons came in and started crying. 

He was a very emotional man. He was crying because his hot pants were giving him camel toe ( Yes, Richard Simmons is feminine enough to have camel toe.) 

And the match ended because all had to find a new pair of hott pants for Richie

But the question still remains.. WHO HAS THE GHETTO BOOTY….

We may never know……………………….

Or will we??????????????????

~*~*~

I have a ghetto booty………… I pop it in the air for my homies……….. I'm so bored….

Are you going to review???? Wow????


	3. Chicken Liver

Chicken liver

Oneday, during potions Harry looked up to see Snape readjusting his chest.

It was odd.

When all of a sudden

Snape came in and yelled-

"Why must this blasted  bra bind me so??!!??"

Harry and the others stared.

Then Snape ran away.

They shrugged.  Harry yelled.. Only their minds were tainted with the sight of Professor Snape readjusting his saggy man boobs.

They were never the same.

~*~*~

Why is it that all my random ones consist of mens underwear? I don't know. I find it amusing.. Haha this one is REALLY random, but it kinda goes along w/ the Men underwear thing… haha

THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED.. you all rock

~*~*~

Heres another story.

One day, Snape was frolicking with Dumbledore. 

They were pretending like they were teletubbys. 

Snape was Lala

And Dumbledore was tinky winky, the oldest and the wisest of the teletubbys

They were having a grand old time when all of a sudden

McGonagall came out of the bushes and said-

" I don't care much for that blasted show, sesame street is more my prerogative"

She then started dancing like Bobby Brown.

Snape  gasped. How could anyone NOT like teletubbys. They were soooo………… nice!!"

Then Snape looked over to his left and saw Dumbledore in gold parachute pants.

Snape was mortified. 

Dumbledore was pretending to be M.C Hammer.

" Hammer time" Dumbledore announced.

Then McGonagall and Dumbledore started having a dance face off. 

It was odd.

Snape was never the same….

~*~*~ 

Thanks to all those who reviewed.. wooooo this was after I was watching VH1 and they had Mc hammer on ….. Haha.. and then I turned the channel and I saw Madtv making fun of whitney Houston……. Hahaha

More comimg……. I just got an idea for another one


	4. Belly dancing and a surprise appearance

Belly dancing.

By me……..

~*~*~*~

One day, Hermione and Snape were discussing evolution.

You see Hermione thought that since men don't need nipples they won't have them in the next  thousand years.

"Essentially Professor, Men will be nipple-less in the next thousand years. Because men don't need nipples for anything. They don't breast feed."

"How can you say that? Men don't breast feed. Of course we do!" Snape snapped at the ugly brown thing

"NO professor you don't."

"Yes I do. You can milk anything with nipples. In fact—"

"No you can't professor! Get that through your head." Yelled the ugly brown thing.

"What do you know ugly brown thing" Snape yelled angrily, his eyes bugging out. 

"In fact I know a lot. I have no life, so there fore I know everything. I am god." Hermione said 

"Well you don't know anything ugly brown thing, because men CAN breast feed. If they think hard enough the certainly can! How do you think I fed my three starving children when their mother died of scurvy?!? How, HOW, how?????" Snape was livid now. 

All was quiet.

Then Hermione said "Professor, you have no children." 

"I do."

"No you don't." 

"I do." 

"No you don't.

"Yea" 

"No"

"No" 

"Yea" Hermione said.

"Aha!! I got you, you ugly brown blur of a thing!"

"I don't care what tricks you play professor. You can't have children, you have no wife."

Then all of a sudden, Michael Jackson came in, with a band aid on his nose. He looked truly grotesque. 

"It's ignorance. You're ignorant!" he yelled. 

Snape stared at the creature named Michael Jackson. 

"Mr. Jackson, you can't have children without a woman. And men can't breast feed." Hermione said annoyingly. 

"Its all ignorance. Men can breast feed. I still breast feed my son, blanket." 

"You had your nipples removed Mr. Jackson." The ugly brown thing said. 

"No it's all ignorance. I only had two surgeries. And they were both for my nose. My face changed. I was growing. It's all ignorance." M.J said before he moon walked his way out of the class room, grabbing his crotch.

Snape was mystified. " Hermione dear. Who was that?" 

"That, Snape, is the king of pop." 

"King? He oddly resembles a chipmunk." Snape said before walking out classroom.

Upon leaving, Snape found Dumbledore getting dancing lessons from M.J. It was truly beautiful.

Snape wanted to join, but he was no jenny from the block, he was English, so therefore he had no rhythm. Snape was sad.

~*~*~

For those of you who are offended by the whole M.J thing, I just wanted to tell you one thing. I'm basing him on the south park episode where he makes a special appearance. I just like the way he says ' Ignorant' all the time. I'm not basing it on the recent charges brought up against him. This was done purely in a comical fashion. No one is being discriminated or criticized in a mean way. This was all just for fun, just for comedy. Don't get angry, Jackson fans. Didn't mean to hurt anyone, just wanted to make a funny chapter for my story………..

Review.

Later love dolls………


	5. Mj makes a return

Pizza and the gang.

~*~*~

One day, Dumbledore was angry. 

Some one stole his 50 cent Cd.

It frustrated Dumbledore because he is learning to be gangster. 

He even had gangster wear. 

He looked fly. 

As fly as an old white English guy could be.

But Dumbledore was flustered because of his long lost 50cent cd's

Now he truly was a ' wanksta' 

He surely was frontin'

Harry saw Dumbledore being gangsterish and he punched  Dumbledore. 

Harry's posse included Lil Kim.

Lil Kim hated 50 cent. 

So did Harry.

Then Professor Snape came and did the Moon walk 

Snape wasn't rhythm-less anymore because he tapped into his inner- black man. 

Because we all know how much white people can't dance. 

Snape was finally happy.

He danced to foot loose.

Like Kevin Bacon.

Snape felt complete.

~*~*~

Alright, not being derogatory or anything but yea, I'm not insinuating anything about any of the races. Just that black people can dance and white people can not…… I'm white so I'm exploiting my rhythm-less self. If you're a white person with rhythm, then flaunt it baby. Nothing meant by this…..

Not trying to be mean. 

Later love dolls.

Review!!!!!!!!1


	6. The mystery of William Hung

The mystery of William Hung

By; Me, Irishsodabread.

Oneday, she, the smartest kid in school was wandering aimlessly.

She confused.

She finally saw the show, American Idol

And she could not believe how they kicked off William Hung. 

Because he clearly had talent.

Who else could sing " She bangs" with so much passion.

Pansy decided to try out for American Idol.

Her audition went like this.

~*~*~

Pansy just got finished singing, Achey Breaky heart by billy ray syrus.

Pansy went all out for this audition

She even got a mullet. 

It was odd looking.

Randy says " Yo dawg, I don't understand dawg, you crazy dawg. Dawg dawg dawg dawg dawg. Yo yo yo. DAWG!!!"

Pansy just stared at Randy.

The Paula said " Pansy…………. Uhh…..I love your name " 

Pansy was happy someone liked her name. Everyone at school just substituted it in for the word stupid. 

It hurt Pansies feelings.

Then Simon, the genius said " Paula, you would compliment a crack whore…….. And I think you just did." 

It wounded Pansies feelings.

Then Ron came in and auditioned. He sang she bangs. 

Everyone was blown away. 

Because that song was cool. 

But Ron didn't become famous like Billy Hung, because he was an ugly white boy with no rhythm. 

And no one liked those. 

~*~*~

I hated this chapter. I was brain dead. But I tend to think I do better writing my other stories when I write these random ones…. Clears the mind……………… 

I got a new idea..

The next ones going to contain…………………………….. Richard simmons 

Review my loves


	7. Mr and Mrs Thomssssssssson

Buttockes 

By: MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!1

A/N Wow I never thought my story would be so popular. But then again, it has MJ in it and Snape tapping into his inner black man!!! Who can resist that?? But really, I appreciate all the review I've gotten cause they make me happy!!!!!!!!11

~*~*~

It was a strange sight to see.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and even Draco stared. 

A couple had just walked in.

They had buttocks where their faces should have been

They were looking for their lost child. 

Harry couldn't help but stare at the strange …….. people…… butt……….. things……

" Oh help up missster Dumbledore find our baby!" The woman said through her……eh… crack. It sprayed all over. 

"Okay Ms. Thomson Tell me what your son looks like." Dumbledore said while trying not to laugh.

"Well in case you have not noticed, we have buttocks where our faces should be." 

" Really, I did not notice" 

"Well its true.. We suffer from a very terrible disease from Torsonic Polarity Syndrome." 

" So in other words, you've got asses for faces!!!!!!" Screamed Snape as he giggled like a madman. Never had he seen anything so funny.

Except for when that kid was set on fire

Now that was FUNNY.

Then Mrs. Thomson turned and looked at Neville.

"That's my baby!!!!!!" she screamed

"I don't have an ass for a face!!!!" Neville screamed

"Sure you do, Longbottom. Mistake your face for an ass all the time" Snape said. 

' NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Neville screamed as Mrs. Thomson tried to kiss him.

The all of a sudden a man opened the door to Hogworts 

OMG!!! Its my baby" Mrs. Thomson screamed

It was Ben Affleck. 

His face looked like a big ass.

All was well and everyone was happy.

The end….

~*~*~ 

Kay got that one from South Park… really that's the best show ever. It really is…. I don't really like this chapter, but yea I suck like that….Tghis chapter sucks ass…….. like the thomsons!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED… if I could I would hug you all.. but yea I don't know you guys.. and this is a computer…

Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later luv dolls


	8. Bubbles gets angry 11

It was a quiet day.

The silence was deafening.

The potions test was mad hard.

Or so said Ron

They were interrupted by a

Midget running into a classroom

**NAKED!**

" It burns it burns " he screamed..

Hermione ran over because the midget, was Randall, her best friend.

" Randall buddy, what burns?" She asked frantically.

Then all of a sudden, Bubbles came in.

Bubbles as you all know are Michael Jackson's simian friend. { to all those who don't know the definition of simian means, its an ape, or monkey..]

Bubbles came in with a tutu on.

Snape was immediately jealous of the ape.

Snape had always wanted to be a ballerina, but his gender always prevented him to

Plus he had two left feet

And no one liked those

But now , since Snape had tapped into his inner black man

He had the rhythm

_AND_ the drive to follow his dreams

While Snape was dreaming up his plan to become the next J.Lo , Randall was belly dancing

Because we all know how sexy that is.

3 days later

Snape was late for potions class, AGAIN.

Hermione was getting worried because she needed to show off to her stupid peers

Then all of a sudden, Snape appeared

In a pink tutu..

Snape was proud because he was finally brave enough to dance in public.

He did an interpretative dance to William Hungs version of " She Bangs"

Everyone stared.

But surprisingly, Ron, Harry, AND Draco got up and started dancing.

Very well I might add.

Hermione was instantly intrigued

Because it took one hell of a man to be that secure of their sexuality

Although she wasn't too sure about Harry

Mean while, Bubbles was sitting in the corner very angry that someone was showing him up.

He would contact M.J for this..

Bubbles made a vow that moment that he was going to make a fool of professor Snape.

Because no one crosses Bubbles!!!!!!!!

OoOoOoOoO is this one pathetic attempt at a plot line? Maybe. If it is, then its pretty pitiful.

Maybe in my next chapter I'll put my all time hero and obsession, RICHARD SIMMONS???? Hmmm maybe, if you all rock and give me what I want… NO you losers, REVIEW!!!, get you brains out of the gutter….. By the way, THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED I LOBE YOU ALL!!!

I don't actually worship Richard Simmons, but I think it would be pretty jammin if they di


	9. Masked!

Ron was thinking.

So this should take a while

He was thinking about the WB superstars.

And how they picked the best of the worst.

It flustered him.

He turned red

And then orange

And then eventually purple

And then he exploded.

WELL NOT REALLY.

But his brain was about to die.

Harry and Hermione walked in on Ron thinking hard

"Uh oh, Hermione, he's thinking again" He asked.

"How the bloody hell should I know?" Hermione was P.M.S'ing.

Just then, a strange friend came into sight.

He was whiter than an albino's ass

And he had black hair

And a tiny little nose that looked like it was falling off.

"Ben, the two of us need look no more  
We both found what we were looking for  
With a friend to call my own  
I'll never be alone  
And you, my friend will see  
You've got a friend in me  
(You've got a friend in me)  
  
Ben, you're always running here and there  
(Here and there)  
You feel you're not wanted anywhere (anywhere)  
If you ever look behind  
And don't like what you find  
There's something you should know  
You've got a place to go  
(You've got a place to go)"

He sang.

"Who the hell is Ben?" Hermione asked slightly confused at M.J's sudden appearance

It was through her understanding that he had been banned from Hogwarts because he created chaos when he put the younger years in masks and promoted plastic surgery to the ugly people.

" My pet rat." He said softly as he pulled out a big nasty rat with one eye

They all stared as M.J started doing the thriller dance.

Harry was mesmerized

" Aha." Ron announced. " I have found my way into becoming the ultimate pop star, just like William hung!" He then scampered off somewhere.

Michael was still dancing, causing Snape to come out from the corner and dance his heart out.

He was in purple leggings and was dancing like the lady in flash dance.

" Ohh you got served!!!" Dumbledore screamed " Beyotch!"

And then there was a dance off with snape and M.j.

It was intense.

Then all of a sudden, Richard Simmons came out and started to dance.

He was jamming to the oldies.

It was intense…..

Will this dance off ever end. Is this yet another pathetic attempt at a plot. Find out on the next installment on " Tighty Whiteys"

TO ALL OF THOSE WHO REVIEWED THIS STORY.

THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALL AWESOME TO THE MAX!!

Later…


	10. Nb

Dumbledore was out shopping

For a totally cool hat.

He shopped

And shopped

And shopped

He almost dropped….

Dead… he's almost a corpse anyways.

He shopped for a really long time which was stated earlier

All he found was the meaning of life

Which he thought was pretty okay

But it was no awesome hat.

f%#%$#$#$#$##$!&%&%

Harry was bored.

He noticed Malfoy was staring at him

SNEERING AT HIM!!

Which was totally uncalled for in Harry's opinion.

But then Harry remembered that him and Malfoy never finished their fight over who had the ghettoest booty.

Because that blasted Richard Simmons had to postpone the match because he had a wedgie.

That reminded Harry that he had a wedgie

So he picked it.

He then went back to sneering at Malfoy.

All of a sudden Malfoy got up and karate chopped Harry

Harry reacted by kicking him in the chest.

They both took out plastic spork knives

Because they were both friggen fairies

And pretty dumb.

They fought a long battle, many scratches occurred

Then things got feisty

They both started fighting Kung foo fighting.

Everyone watched

McGonagall asked Dumbledore "Why Albus, aren't you going to stop them? This is getting pretty dangerous!" Right when she said this, the boys both took out their sporks again.

"No Minerva I will not stop him. That's just how mah hood is. We crazy like dat."

Albus walked away.

Because he heard the new Jay-Z cd was coming out today.

The fight still continued

Until both Nancy boys gave up.

But Hermione didn't want them to give up.

Because it was HOTT!!

So this is my second day of summer. Its pretty effing jam in my opinion.

Review because we all know how you all kick ass to the max right?


	11. Voldie and Lucius's adventure

Voldie and Lucius were bored.

They tried everything that would be at least entertaining.

But everything failed.

They even tried setting someone on fire.

But the thrill was gone

So they decided to go to Muggle America

And they were bored NO MORE!

They went to a 7 11 and saw the most awesome thing in the world

A slurrpie!

Voldie, who had been to Muggle America before was ecstatic

" Look Lucius, they have my two favorite flavors! Cherry and Green!!"

" Honestly Voldie how many times do we have to tell you, Green is not a flavor." Lucius said, sounding annoyed

Voldie didn't listen because he walked straight towards the slurrpy machine

And so they made themselves a slurppy

Lucius paid the man, while voldie went to the corner to pick a wedgie

Everyone saw

But they didn't say anything.

They went outside.

" Huh, this is really cold" Lucius said as he sipped his soft drink

"Yea, that's why you have to drink it fast Luchey"

And so they did.

" Ow, Voldie this hurts."

"Just drink it fast."

And so they both continued drinking fast

" Voldie I cant feel my face."

So Voldie slapped him

"Didn't hurt"

Again, lucius got slapped

"Didn't hurt"

Then all of a sudden

"My mouth is numb." Voldie said as Slurpy spilled from his mouth

It was quite a sight to see.

Then they both got distracted as a girl came running up in very short sweat shorts

"I like those shorts on her" said lucius, as he checked out the girl

"What a dork. Last time I wore those short shorts, I got beat up." Voldy said with a sneer on his face.

"Really what happened?" Lucius asked

" I came back from my aerobics class with Richard Simmons, and I was wearing pink sparkly shorts, and my death eaters beat me up."

" Sounds terrible."

" Yea they gave me a permanent wedgie." Voldy said as he picked his wedgie YET AGAIN!

"Poor thing"

" Yea and the worst part is Richard Simmons stood there the whole time, laughing in my face. I think he did it because I'm fat."

"That Richard Simmons, he's the meanest nastiest thing in the world."

" He is." Voldy wiped a tear from his eye.

They then went to the mall.

They saw stupid teenagers there

Voldy hated teenagers

Because they are the cause of the Backstreet Boys.

And Nsync

And Menudo

Lucius slipped on some soda

His back went out

So he had to go in a wheel chair

Voldy pushed him

He almost ran people over with the wheelchair

It was the most fun Voldie had in a long time

WAYYY funner than setting people on fire

But the fun was soon over with,

Because they soon spotted Dumbledore going into the cd store

He was with Richard Simmons.

Voldy wet his pants

He didn't want another wedgie!!!!]

But Dumbledore and Richard soon spotted the dynamic duo

Dumbledores eyes twinkled and Richard shed his skin

Lucius and Voldy ran.

They went outside, thinking that they lost Richard and Dumbledore

But little did they know that Richard was hiding behind them, his unblemished skin.

It glowed

It scared Voldy

They ran

And ran

And ran

Until they came across…………….. Micheal Jackson

Voldy almost wet his pants

But he found a kindred spirit in the weirdo

Micheal had a pasty on his nose

Like the one his sister had on her nipple

Voldy was amazed at how pale M.J was

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get that pale

He was then sad

He went home crying, with Lucius helping him out

Lucius had to bake cookies and massage voldys feet to stop voldy from crying

Lucius was then sad.

This is sad

This chapter was sad

And dumb….

Hilary Duff is dumb also

Snape doesn't think Hilary Duff was dumb.

He has her cd

He was going to get Lindsay Lohans cd

But she's _so_ yesterday.

Harry likes Hermione

He likes her butt the most

One day Harry found himself turned on by Hermione

"Think unsexy thoughts" Harry told himself

"Dead puppy, snape picking his nose, Dumblefore doing the funky chicken, n—nn—NIPPLE!!" he couldn't help but think un-sexy thoughts

He then saw Pansy walk by.

That helped him out

%$#%#(&(&(&%$%

This was a dumb chapter in my opinion.. But hey, who cares.. I go the whole 7/11 slurrpy scene from DUMB &DUMBERER " When Harry met Flloyd." I saw the movie the other day, and though it was pretty dumb, I loved that one part.

Review

Because we all know how I love those

More than I love watching people fall down


	12. This is total and utter crap NOT!

Voldermort was bewildered

It was like a puzzle

The colors mesmerized him

People were staring at him with strange looks

Why would they do such a thing?

Voldermort couldn't contemplate such a question

He knew he was a nice guy

Who cares what other people think

But what he was looking at flummoxed him to every extent

Because this poster was strange

It was Christina Agularia campaigning for a soap company.

A complete oxymoron

Because from what Voldy knew-

Christina was one of those rare creatures

Where no matter how much you clean her

She'll always be dirrty

Voldy was actually thinking about recruiting her

Because her music was so----

Poppy.

But she also tried too hard to be edgy

But he loved her anyways

Because her music was so

Edgy

Or so he liked to think

But still the poster that lay before him confused him

But he could not deny the hidden beauty within the poster

It made him think.

That maybe one day

He would be able to

Get the wedgie out from between his cheeks

Because it was painful

But the poster gave his hope

Sorry to those who like Christina Agularia, but I had to use her because I don't like her. Plain and simple... I think she's okay, she doesn't bother me as much as Britney does tho.but she is DIRRRTY haha

THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED!!!


	13. House cat

Hermione was sad

She had just gotten a letter from her father.

It read :

_Dear Hermione,_

_For the first 4 years of your life, I thought you were a house cat._

_Love, Dad.___


	14. Aicha

Aicha

**Noir de Dame: My goodness, I love that song!!! Aicha Aicha my my my!!! I saw that video on , and man, I fell in love with it. I have it on my play list!!!! I think its beautiful!! Haha!!!**

**So here you go, coolest of the cool Noir De Dame, hope this quenches your thirst….**

**&&&&**

Neville loved someone.

He loved her so much, that he felt like writing a song about her.

But Neville was a crappy song-writer

Just like how he is crap at everything else in the world..

But he could dance…

But not as well as professor snape

And Dumbledore

But he would try anyways, because he loved her so much…

It was while he was filming a video for his love

That Crabbe had come up to him a dry humped his leg

Neville tried to dance

With crabbe on his leg, like a randy dog!

But it was interrupted by Draco running in

With a spray bottle and spraying Crabbe " No Crabbie. Bad boy" Draco yelled

Crabbe didn't listen

It got Neville depressed.

BUT HE DANCED ON!!

But it was interrupted by Draco running in the video again

With a can filled with pennies

Loud noises tend to scare Crabbe

AND IT DID!!!

YAY!!!

Neville finally sent the video to his love

&%&$%$%

Harry got a big package

It was addressed to him

He opened it and it was a video…

Conveniently there was a VCR tape thing there. How did that get there?? HMM

So he put it in

It was of Neville

Dancing his little heart out, though he tried

It was truly adorable.

Then Crabbe ran in, humped Neville

And Draco sprayed stuff at Crabbe

It was a sight for sore eyes

Harry reminisced about when Crabbe use to do that to him

It made him sad

Harry had to get his attention back to the video

The ending was of Neville singing the last part of his song " Aicha"

And he ran up and kissed the camera

Harry was horrorstruck!!!

"Neville, why is it that you kissed the camera that was so conveniently in your possession even though it shouldn't because this is a magical story and normal things are forbidden. Why would you kiss a camera, it smudges it!!???!!! "

"Because Aicha, I love you!!" Neville wailed

"I'm not bloody Aicha man!!!" Harry yelled

"Who are you then?"

"Harry Potter, the boy who had the ghettoest booty!!"

"No your not Harry, Harry doesn't have long hair like that…."

"I am Harry!!!!"

"You are? Goodness Harry, you look like a woman with long hair like that!! No wonder Snape spit in your face yesterday…"

"I'M A METROSEXUAL NOW NEVILLE!"

"Oh……… You look like a bloody pansy you know?"

" That's the point…"

(&&&%&%&

Ohhhh… what does this mean?? Is Harry watching too much vh1 where they fill his mind up with mindless and useless crap? Or is Neville very very very confused?

In the next installment::::: Crazy teenies attack Lucius Malfoy, the newest sex symbol to hit the wizarding world….

Did anyone know that this story has the most reviews in my archive??? How grand and strange is that???

Review my crazy little fellows……..


	15. Sausage roll

Harry walked into the potions class room with his midget Charlie.

" This place smells like hamster cage!!!" Harry yelled.

" That's just Snape." Said quickly.

0000000000

Lucius loved a lot of things

Like burning people

And laughing at them

Those pictures of third world countries were also great fun to him.

But what he loved the most was going commando.

YES COMMANDO!!

Under his robes.

He was NOT like his stupid son, Draco.

Who wore itchy thongs,

Thongs just gave Lucius yeast infections.

Don't tell anyone.

He also loved to flash people in little muggle towns.

But one day, Lucius went to France, for another glorious day flashing people

The first person he flashed was a man with a black mustache, which was rather fake looking.

But to his astonishment, the man flashed him back.

Lucius was astounded.

He ran, rather perturbed at the man for showing him his sausage roll.

But Lucius concluded it all on that the man was

French

0000000000

Long time no write.

I'M learning French, and I have a rather odd fascination with France as of late. If your French, don't take this to heart. Come on, this came from the author who made fun of Micheal Jackson, calling his a squirrel/chipmunk thingy…..


End file.
